inky_blue

My summer so far has been INCREDIBLE.

Highlights in England included: getting my grandmother drunk, picking the most divine and perfect raspberries and strawberries, baking challah, giggling uncontrollaby and shamefully gossiping with old friends, unexpected out of the way kind gestures, gatecrashing a university graduation we knew nobody at (to eat hotdogs), relaxing in Constable country, being fed delicious goodies, unexpected family reunions, bacon and ham, and many more things.

Highlights of backpacking in France included: Calais-Boulogne-Bordeaux-Lille-Lyon-Cacasonne-Montpellier-Annacy-Tours, dangling our legs on the banks of the Loire for the most amazing Bastille day fireworks, attracting eccentric (kind) old men eager to discuss their life histories, patisseries, en terrasse cafes, an accidental visit to a personally guided bread exhibition hosted by the Stonemasons, being told off on the train by an eccentric lady because "LADIES LADIES en France this is not what we do", and many more things.

And now I am in Dubai. I wake up at noon, eat lunch, slather on factor sixty and bathe in our pool (or venture out to the gorgeous pale-sanded-crystal-clear-water beach), go shopping in the world's number one consumer paradise, and just generally relax in a truly decadent fashion. But really, in Dubai, what else can one do?

So maybe it is the most glorious waste of a summer, and maybe I should be doing more grown up responsible things (like geting a job, haha). But this is my last year at Queen's, at university, and my last summer off. I have the rest of my life to grow up. What better excuse is there?

I am glad to be taking a fifth year, but there are some things that I just cannot bear. Like saying goodbyes. I never cry when it comes to actual goodbyes. Maybe it's just the Asianess in me, or the immunity built up from watching my dad walk in and out of my life so frequently, but I've learned keep a strong face.

The gut wrenching pain is still there though. It's when people leave that I realise just how much for granted I've taken them for the whole time, just how much more I should have showed my appreciation for them, and pray that they realise just how much they mean to me, just how much I think they truly deserve out of life, and know how immensely much I'm going to miss them.

OH MY GOD. I've been in Canada for too long. Yesterday was Shrove Tuesday, and I've only just realised. I CANNOT believe I missed the only legitimate day in the calandar to shove my face full of pancakes, golden syrup, and lemon juice.

I miss my parents a silly amount. There. I said it. My life is incomplete without my mother telling me on a daily basis, "You have to study/eat well, therefore I will pray for you." She's having so much fun in Dubai. I also think my dad appreciates the company.

This past term half term has been really fun. Ridiculous as it sounds, I feel like I'm oozing a crazy love for everything around me. I enjoy talking bluntly, being silly, and generally feeling wanted. I love butterflies, pretending to be mad, and the satisfaction of creating a smile. Coincidences and random circumstances make my day.

I cannot believe how heated this whole Fall reading week debate is getting. Take this for example:

"I don't believe anyone from out of province (or country, for that matter) should have a say in this matter."

The gist was originally said to me by the guy himself yesterday, and I was literally left gormless. Since he said all kinds of nasty things to me first before posting his thoughts on facebook, I took it as a bit of a personal attack.

My first issue is what makes someone out of province? My parents own a house in Mississauga, they pay all applicable taxes, so does that make me from Ontario? I don't have a passport, but I do have a Maple Leaf card. My parents are expats in Dubai, and I previously spent 17 years of my life in England. How should that factor in? Not everyone has a clear cut region/country of origin contained within their personal history, because after all this is Canada. Who is to decide if I'm out of province? Why should he have the right to decide?

Secondly, I pay student fees just like everyone else, shouldn't I deserve a ballot just like everyone else? If everyone outside Ontario wasn't allowed to vote in any referendum, how bad would that look? Can you see admissions drop through the "live in our province, live by our rules" ethos? Overseas admissions aren't just lucrative for Queen's, I'd also like to think that the people not from Ontario add to the whole university experience. I believe that the best learning takes place between people of different viewpoints and backgrounds through discourse. A homogenous Ontario student body is not the way to go.

To state why I personally don't like the idea of a Fall reading week: I only ever get to see my parents during the Summer and Christmas breaks. The week at the end of the summer with them is worth much more to me than a week off during the term alone in Kingston.

Wow, what a rant. I dunno, I guess I just felt kind of hurt at his comments and personal attack yesterday.

Two (or maybe three) good songs:

Fedde le Grand - Put Your Hands up for Detroit.
I don't like club/house music, but for some reason this hits the spot. Catchy and simple.

Damien Rice - 9 Crimes
Dare I say, better than the Blower's daughter? Beautiful. At first I couldn't help but compare it to Snow Patrol - Set the Fire, due to the male-female duet thing going in, but they are different.

And I have to mention Lady Sovereign - Love Me or Hate Me. Can Lady Sovereign break North America? She's the antithesis of the Pussy Cat Dolls, Mya, Jojo etc, i.e. opinionated, gobby and keeps her clothes on.

In other news, I have zero food apart from deliciously delectable chocolate hobnob biscuits which must be savoured and rationed because soon I'll run out.

Oh my God. This is fucking hilarious, and worrysome at the same time. For some reason I'm getting a pro-Bush radio station and it is SCARY.

Homesexuality is a fad that, "spread from California" and does not exist.
The reason AIDs kills is because we should discrimate against gay people. It's because of them the liberals pollute our preschoolers and hand out condoms to them.
Not treating boys and girls differently is offensive to boys because they want to, "bash each other not have tea parties." This was closely followed by an anecdote about a woman taking her girl to the Doctor because, "they thought she might have a serious medical condition and be retarded as she just liked to sleep, and didn't want to do much. The Doctor said to the parents, you know what, your child's a girl, she's going to be like this."

To be honest with you, I don't even know where to begin with this.

Imminent midterms put me in a sharing mood.

I'm devouring Daria at a shocking rate. I am so in love with the programme it's not even funny. Her cutting wit, sarcasm and hyperbolic statements render me weak to her charms. There are so many favourite moments I don't know where to begin. I gleefully smile at her awkward moments with Trent, marvel at her strong friendship with Jane, and swoon over Tom. The cracked out fashion club is hilarious, and understanding the intellectual/pop culture references makes me feel smart.

Is it that bad I want to swap my life with a cartoon character?

My Thanksgiving was devoid of the whole turkey do. Usually we have dinner at my house, with 15 family members in attendance. Immigration to China, working abroad, Cuba, and other lame excuses whittled our numbers down to five this year. My grandparents, my mother, my sister, and me. Nevermind though, so we went on a tour.

Luckily my father wasn't here because he would have suggested we go to Thunder Bay (his non-sensicle affection for it is a long standing family joke), and instead we set off to Agonquin/Muskoka. The weather was beautiful, and the scenery was beautiful, although my mother wouldn't stop complaining. Apparently we missed the best leaves by two weeks according to her. I'm not sure how she knows this, but she kicked up a needless fuss.

My grandparents are the funniest people ever to take on long drives. They pack a hamper full of car snacks like crisps and baked goods and walnuts and a damp cloth neatly folded in an old Hong Kong flora margarine tub (to wipe sticky fingers on), and are oh so excited about every Tim-gay we stop at. Since I know a total of probably three words in Chinese, I've never quite figured out how Tim Horton's is Tim-gay.

Needless to say, we got lost and did a couple of u-turns consisting of getting off the motorway, travelling over the bridge to the other side, and rejoining the motorway in the opposite direction. My grandparents were absolutely enthralled by the scenery. Once when we had just done a u-turn, my grandfather announced in a loud voice, "Whaaaaaa, ho dor [lots] leaves. Hooo lang [very beautful]. Much more beautiful than just before." When actually, it was EXACTLY the same part of road, it's just they were looking at the other side. They have zero spacial awareness. I think it's genetic or something.

So although we didn't have turkey, we did have duck with mashed taro on top, crab, and prawns. Mmmmmmm. New Sky is my most favourite Chinese restaurant in Spadina. It was an okay weekend.

This story over msn was just too funny. I think you can guess who was talking.

********

oh god, i told him that you think he is gay
and he finds it funny
oh, there was a protest outside the house of commons
a protest against gay marriage
and me and don went insane
i started yelling lets go to a gay bar
and don start singing YMCA
and we started holding hands
the entire MPA class just stood there, in horror

********

I really truly am blessed to have such good friends. I don't think I've ever had a birthday this remembered. It's so wonderful to receive happy birthdays on the stroke of midnight from facebook, numerous msn boxes popping up, and on the phone. I'm loved, happy, and lucky. And now officially one year older to boot.

And you thought I was bad? A person I know from highschool posted this on her facebook.

**********
ITS MY BIRTHDAY.

IF YOU ARE FEELING PARTICULARLY GENEROUS (IT IS MY 21ST YOU STINGY BUGGERS) THEN HERE ARE SOME SUGGESTIONS AS TO WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO RECIEVE.

1. DIOR/BENEFIT MAKE UP.
2. HELLO KITTY MERCHANDISE.
3. TOPSHOP VOUCHERS
4. FUNKY EARRINGS
5. CHAMPAGNE
6. DIESEL CLOTHES
7. CDS/DVDS
8. PAUL FRANK GOODIES
9. DAVID AND GOLLIATH GOODIES

I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU OUT IM NOT BEING SELFISH

**********

I can't seem to decide whether it's horribly ruthless, or helpful. I doubt I'll ever have the audacity to do the same thing.

Sometimes you've just got to pray that karma's a bitch.

Kasabian - Empire = LOVE.

So, I'm back. My holiday was.. awesome to borrow a Canadian phrase. I do have some rants though, particularly about Air Canada and they will follow.

I miss Topshop, and beautiful clothes. I'm so chubbo from too much food, and most notably, I feel loved by friends.

When I was looking at knock off designer bags (following dodgy guys into back rooms stuffed with loot), I bumped into a Canadian Emirates air hostess from BC. She's only been here for three months of a three year contract, but she said if she has anything to do with it, she'll be gone in a year because she hates the UAE just that much. I'm sitting here now, with my suitcases packed, and my feelings are anything but. I could easily live here.

I told my dad that when I graduate, I'm moving to Dubai. Dubai is in my five year plan, China is in my ten year plan, and retirement is in my fifteen year plan. All jokes aside though, I think my future as an ex-pat is definitely sealed. Canada is safe but boring, and there's a whole world out there to explore. I couldn't think of anything more tedious than to fall in love, have children, and join the ranks of the middle class, imprisoned in Ontario for ever and ever amen. That's not to say I think anyone who chooses that route is crazy in my mind, but it's just.. not for me. Maybe one day I might change my mind, but right now there's so much for the taking and I have youth on my side. I want to have adventures, I want my life to be epic. Two weeks annual holiday in Cuba (si?) is not included in my definition of adventurous, nor epic.

Enough of my life philosophy right now. It's approaching two now, and I have to wake up at five. Bedtime.

On the bright side, this time last year I was practically living in the intensive care ward watching over my grandfather. The odds were over 95% he'd die, but he managed to prove us wrong. Now he's planning his winter trip to Hong Kong, and I couldn't be happier. Hopefully, his good health will continue *touch wood*.

I was preparing for my backpacking trip to Germany/Switzerland/Austria/Italy/Greece about this time last year as well. On the not so bright side, I should be preparing for my backpacking trip to Marocco/Spain/Portugal/France/Belgium/Netherlands right about now. Alas, a lack of money means this trip will not go ahead.

In a way, I feel crushed, but I know when to count my blessings. I'm in Dubai, and then next month I'll be in England. Ohhh homeland, how I miss thee (or is it thou?). Good food, good tv, good company. Part of me feels I should change the order of that, but everyone knows how just how close food is to my heart.

The other day I said something really terrible. My dad was trying on a belt at a fancy shop, and it looked bad. I told him that in order to pull off the expensive belt look, he would either have to be very gay or very European. Cue for me to turn around realise that the shop assistant was standing right behind me, wearing the same belt, and looking both very gay and very European. Ooops. At least he looked good wearing it?

I bought a pearl necklace today. The trouble is, decisions decisions! There are cheaper pearls, and expensive pearls. Expensive pearls are flawless, which thus leads one to believe they look fake, because only plastic can look that uniform. The cheaper pearls have their flaws, but one can tell they are real because every pearl looks unique. The catch is, do I want something that looks almost fake, or the real deal but slightly lower grade? Answers on a postcard please.

If I were to compile a list of "You haven't lived until...", one of the definite things included on the list would be to try eating fresh dates. Divine, absolutely divine. I'm growing fatter from all sorts of delicious things like baklava, kanafa, hallumi, mannakish, and laban. My favourite spice is cardamon.

Cardamon is my first memory of living in an Arabic country. The smell of Turkish coffee wafting across the room as I played with my friends, surrounded by Filipina maids and bodyguards. To me, the aroma is familiarity, and childhood. The feeling of home, which is why I'm so fond of eating gulab jamon at Curry Original in Kingston. It makes me remember.

Sometimes my mother just takes the cake.

So the other night my dad and I picked up my mother and sister from the airport. Guess how much excess baggage they had? $1000 worth. I've heard of accidently packing a little too much, but that was just plain packing with blatent disregard. I mean, I could buy the Chanel bag I desperately want, but can probably never afford with that.

This is where the story gets better.. my mother blagged it all. They didn't pay any of it.

I knew my mum wanted to move to Dubai and all, but it was always filed under "things she keeps on saying she'll do, but keep postponing".

But then, out of the blue today, she said there were no problems in making me a Dubai resident. My jaw actually dropped. You what? ..I didn't think I was moving. *confused nose scrunch*

Shouldn't I have like.. signed something?

You know, there are times when I just feel so lucky. I have parents that love me, and I have been given so many chances other people haven't gotten.

Canada is great and all, but God I can't wait to leave Kingston and everything associated with it. The moment I'll truly relax is the moment the airplane takes off. Which will hopefully be VERY SOON.

Two more years of Queen's left.

Until the 13th, I am here in Kingston sadly. My marks from a certain incompetent department got messed up once again, and I want to sort everything out in person. Bad luck much? To my delight, people are still in Kingston though, and even better, they've moved to my side of the world so I'm not all that lonely.

Four months, $2000 in flights is my deal for the summer. Sweet. You think I'd be appreciative, but no, I have to channel everything into angst. My dad's company is paying for everything which makes me happy, and means I get to go to Dubai. Yay, Dubai is superawesome. I also get to decorate an entire house. Here comes my issue though. I need a job.

Go to Dubai, get a job there, simple enough? No. I've been looking, and it's quite difficult. My father is of the whole attitude, "Kimberley, I'm not going to hire you because I'm not around forever, and you're not always going to have someone to help you out. You need to be independent." Which kinda pisses me off, because if he had to create a job just for me, fair enough. But there are empty jobs he has to fill.

What I do have though, is a job in England. Good pay, completely on my own terms. I pick my hours, and it's excellent for resume building.

So I guess what everything boils down to is this.. either spend time with my dad, or earn some money in England.

Sigh.

And the prize for weirdest comeback ever goes to Kent Wan..

Me: Why do you always have to treat me as though I'm so stupid.
Him: Why do you always have to treat me as though I'm not a virgin.

Like wtf?!

Just to reiterate, I AM NOT GOING OUT WITH KENT WAN. Apparently a million people think we are.. BUT WE AREN'T. Ciara is though.